i feel so miserable okay!
not my fault.

i tried to be nice to my mom. i know i cant shout at her, no matter how i feel like it.
in the past and right now.
after thinking about it, i found out that i am a person who appreciates being alone at home, around friends outside.
but my mom is exactly opposite. she's paranoid about being lonely and STICKS TO ME AT HOME. which is highly undesirable.
i was webcamming with hammy, ( i see him , not he see me )
then my mom keep coming in. and nag nag nag nag nag , then i will get pissed off and really impatient, and then i will be in such a bad mood until she goes out and i can continue my peaceful talking to people.

and i had been so sad. everytime at that point of time k.
i try so hard. to control my words. i feel that i've improved. and then my mom will start saying she miss me when i was in K2 like that, when i was so guai and all that , and then she will start saying i become bad and blah blah blah.
so im very frustrated.
i almost cried.
because its too hard.

thinking bad words is almost the same as saying them isnt it?
now that i curb my saying. the thoughts are coming in.
see, when i have to keep my mouth shut, then my mind works pretty fast. then i cant control it.
my mom's out of the toilet.

okay. i know im a seriously sensitive person. and i cry so easily, even for no reason, or for the smallest things.
why was i made this way?
God has his plans.
maybe, i'm going to do something so noble and fantastic in future.
-positivity!

today. was a slack day. i meant to do my homework. no mood, no motivation, no nothing. died in maple. felt so slack and tired. then i got into a bad mood then i wanted to eat junk . but i rmb during my party most of the junk was eaten up. so i ate a bar of tomblerone. then i felt a bit sick. then even more miserable, then i went to sleep and had three phone calls wake me up three times. then i dreamt.
something about justine asking aud, carol, hammy and me to read some verses from Matthew. i wish i could remember what verse.
maybe it could help me right?

but then i woke up. and was so tired. no appetite for dinner. there was crab. but my grandmother hapily cooked it in such i way i HATED it. so dinner was lousy. then i was feeling lousy also.

i just told my mother i had mood swings. she was caring. but after a while, while i was finding something, then my mood became pissed. because my mom was also nagging like crazy, saying how i always cant find my stuff.
pure rubbing salt into the would.

i feel like crying.
GAHS! i dont.

Labels: i wont.

9:27 PM;
<3

i feel so miserable okay!
not my fault.

i tried to be nice to my mom. i know i cant shout at her, no matter how i feel like it.
in the past and right now.
after thinking about it, i found out that i am a person who appreciates being alone at home, around friends outside.
but my mom is exactly opposite. she's paranoid about being lonely and STICKS TO ME AT HOME. which is highly undesirable.
i was webcamming with hammy, ( i see him , not he see me )
then my mom keep coming in. and nag nag nag nag nag , then i will get pissed off and really impatient, and then i will be in such a bad mood until she goes out and i can continue my peaceful talking to people.

and i had been so sad. everytime at that point of time k.
i try so hard. to control my words. i feel that i've improved. and then my mom will start saying she miss me when i was in K2 like that, when i was so guai and all that , and then she will start saying i become bad and blah blah blah.
so im very frustrated.
i almost cried.
because its too hard.

thinking bad words is almost the same as saying them isnt it?
now that i curb my saying. the thoughts are coming in.
see, when i have to keep my mouth shut, then my mind works pretty fast. then i cant control it.
my mom's out of the toilet.

okay. i know im a seriously sensitive person. and i cry so easily, even for no reason, or for the smallest things.
why was i made this way?
God has his plans.
maybe, i'm going to do something so noble and fantastic in future.
-positivity!

today. was a slack day. i meant to do my homework. no mood, no motivation, no nothing. died in maple. felt so slack and tired. then i got into a bad mood then i wanted to eat junk . but i rmb during my party most of the junk was eaten up. so i ate a bar of tomblerone. then i felt a bit sick. then even more miserable, then i went to sleep and had three phone calls wake me up three times. then i dreamt.
something about justine asking aud, carol, hammy and me to read some verses from Matthew. i wish i could remember what verse.
maybe it could help me right?

but then i woke up. and was so tired. no appetite for dinner. there was crab. but my grandmother hapily cooked it in such i way i HATED it. so dinner was lousy. then i was feeling lousy also.

i just told my mother i had mood swings. she was caring. but after a while, while i was finding something, then my mood became pissed. because my mom was also nagging like crazy, saying how i always cant find my stuff.
pure rubbing salt into the would.

i feel like crying.
GAHS! i dont.

Labels: i wont.

9:27 PM;
<3